SOME WHO READ THIS WILL NOT LIKE IT.  If they read it at all.

This post may come off as self righteous…but to be self righteous a person would claim righteousness with out dealing with their imperfection.   I have grown up to admit my imperfection.  This may come of as condemning, but all who read this are just as worthy of the Grace I have grown up in.

I have done stupid stuff in my life, and at times haven’t been the best husband.  Lucky for me my wife knows this and loves me anyway.  There are times when I could have done more to show how much I loved her and how much I would do anything for my wife.

There are times I want more from my wife, but more times that I give less than she deserves.

There are times I haven’t been the best dad, and times I wish I could go back and have a do over with my kids.  Where my anger was quicker than expected, and my reaction to catch it slow.

So you see… I get it.   I get that you think you may not have experienced the love you thought you deserved.   I get that you think that your needs were or are not met.  I get that you want/wanted more, than you thought your wife was giving.  I get that you have dreams and plans, and somehow the life you have doesn’t fit.  I get that having kids is not easy…I get that really I do.

I get the fact that well…Bluntly… You need to grow up.  But let me remind you of  something:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When you said those words, what did you expect?  It would just happen how you planed it out?  That somehow these things would fit into your dreams and your idea of marriage.

And what about kids?  Do you think they are there just to be your buddy?  Is it OK to tell them to “Just get over it” when actions have hurt them deeper than you care to find out.  Do you worry about the confusion you place in their lives, as you run and chase “Your” dream of a happy marriage?  Sometimes I wonder if you think at all.   News flash, there is no perfect/happy marriage.

There was a time when I looked for my dreams first, before those of my family…But I grew up.  There was a time when I put the pressure of meeting my needs on my wife… But I grew up.  There was a time I didn’t know if my marriage would make it…But I grew up.   God knows…

I stopped thinking about my idea of a perfect marriage and started thinking about God’s idea of a perfect marriage.  I allowed God to be the driving factor in why I love my wife the way I do.

So see I get it… I really do get it. Is my wife perfect, do I get my needs met, and does she love me?  My wife through God’s plan is perfect for me, and He meets my needs through her.  And I know now she loves me more than I deserve.  I thank my God everyday for showing me how to love my wife through Him.  Have I been or am I perfect?  No.  What is done is done, but I am still growing up in Christ.

There is more I could say, but will stop… Just know that the Grace afforded to me is still available for you.  There is still redemption that can be had,  but you have to be willing to allow God to grow you up…